Could you show your T what you posted here? I mean, not showing this site, but copying and pasting it, then showing it to her? I've done that before, shown something I've written because I didn't know how to say it.

If that feels too exposing, maybe you could say that you know you joke around too much, but it feels like too much to just say everything honestly that you're feeling experiencing. And ask for suggestions on doing that. Like a middle ground of some sort.

ETA: I've been seeing my therapist for 6 years, which is a long time. (And a different one for 6 years before that.) But in the past year or so, I've really let my guard down about some things and just kind of let it out. It's been difficult and painful at times. But I've had so much insight since then and have made lots of progress in that year.

This is very much going to show my age, but I think of the MTV Real World slogan, of "This is what happens when people stop being polite, and start getting real." I had to let myself get real.