Well, it happened. I got pulled over by the police the night before Thanksgiving and was arrested and thrown in jail.

I failed the sobriety test, so they put me in handcuffs and took me to the police barracks where I agreed to a breathalyzer. I was over the legal limit so I spent the night in jail. My mother had to bail me out on Thanksgiving morning.

I have lost my license to drive for at least 45 days, and my car got towed 20+ miles away from where I live. I am on probation for one year. I must enroll in rehabilitation classes for 16 weeks. If I get a second DUI, it's automatic jail time for 2+ years. I can apply for a "hardship" drivers license that will allow me to drive to and from work until my license is reinstated.

I paid a lawyer $3500. I paid the court $365. I owe several hundred dollars to get my car towed back to my house. Luckily, the judge waived the rehab course fee which would have cost me another $1300.

My 3 nephews were so upset with me that I decided to not join my family for Thanksgiving dinner. I ended up staying home by myself, and I did not eat a single bite of food the entire day and night.

This was a very costly mistake.

I have beaten myself up enough about this incident already, and I know it could have been far worse. I was not in an accident, and no one got hurt. In fact, no one was even on the road with me at that time. It was 1:00 am, and I was on my way home from a music club.

I've decided to stop drinking. I have been abusing alcohol for a long time, and it has caused me problems. I become far more emotionally reactive when I drink, and this has caused some conflicts & arguments with other people.

In a strange way, I am relieved. It's almost like deep down, I am glad I got caught because this now forces me to straighten up and make some much needed changes in my lifestyle habits.

Yes, I am upset that I cannot drive, I am upset about the high cost, and I am upset that I have to take rehab classes. But these classes are virtual, and I can apply for a hardship license which will at least give me temporary access to my car for 12 hours each day of the week.

But I am mostly upset with myself for being so foolish. I get it. I could have killed someone OR myself. No one needs to tell me this. I am taking this all very seriously and to heart.

And this is why I am posting here. Drinking has been my emotional crutch, and I never learned healthier stress management skills. A drink was always my go-to for relaxation and stress management, hence the abuse of alcohol.

So, now I am being forced to learn healthier coping skills and healthier stress management skills. I know this will not be easy. I think I have a bit of a dependency on alcohol. I am not an alcoholic, but I am not too far away from that label.

I do not exercise regularly, and I hate the gym. I may try to force myself to start walking, either before or after work.

But I will never have a drink and drive again. I refuse to be that stupid and get myself in trouble again. I will not.

So my question to people here: how does one learn healthier coping skills when one is so conditioned in a direction that is unhealthy?

I also have to quit smoking cigarettes. Another vice I am not happy about or proud of. But I am highly addicted. I have been smoking for over 30 years. A lifelong habit. UGH.

So, how do I start? How do I start to change these lifelong unhealthy habits?