I think you feel bad about yourself and you project that other people feel bad about you. That’s a vicious cycle.

You got a new job. Focus on learning skills and procedures and focus on being a good employee and getting the pay check. Stop focusing on what people might think of you. Most people are so busy on the job they don’t have time to worry about who looks at them. Focus on learning the job skills, memorizing the steps and rules and gaining experience, not on punishing people you don’t even know.