I really cannot lose this control. The one thing I have control over. The one thing that gives me comfort. The one voice that feels like a friend even if he is a bit toxic. The one thing that makes me feel stronger.
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I hear IP/resi for eating disorders is NOT helpful. You get tricks from other patients, you resent the control being forcefully and completely taken away, it's basically just a competition amongst patients to see who can lose the most weight/gain the most weight/be the sickest/discharge the quickest (EDs are fueled on comparisons), most people relapse after they discharge, meal times can be--depending on where you are--downright traumatizing, etc. A while back when I was regular IP I was told I should get further eating disorder treatment, by my doc, but on an outpatient basis because of this.