I, yes I sure have. So inconvenient although today he gets to stop wearing his splint so that's exciting. Weird accident, he plays football before school sometimes with friends and apparently other kids were playing volleyball around them and one accidentally served a ball into his thumb. I said that third grader must have a pretty strong serve to break his thumb just from that!


That makes sense about your boundary, does your H respect that when you say it? I feel like mine would be mean and bitter if I said something like that, but I guess I don't know until I try. I have been having these communication issues with my H and it is so weird. I told him this and I really do feel like communicating with him is like walking through a minefield because I never know what I say that will set him off. And, he is categorically incapable of having a disagreement without resorting to super childish behavior. Actually, not even a disagreement but some type of communication where I inadvertently push a button or have a misstep like normal human beings do. Imperfect communication from my end can cause him to have a meltdown and honestly sometimes it might be tone or me using the word "we" instead of "I" and things like that. I really do feel like I have become the place all of his anger goes to. I have to remind him constantly that I am not a robot. I really need to focus on not being reactive to his own issues which I know very well have little to nothing to do with me, but I find it super difficult. I will say I am getting much better at knowing that my H means nothing that he says when he is like that so that is super helpful. I guess one day/step at a time right?


I took your advice re: the inlaws and it went well. We had to do some Thanksgiving with them before going to my family and I took my own car. So I sent my H and kids there early while I finished cooking and then I went over there, ate with them and left when I wanted to. I hate feeling trapped there so it is really nice to have my boundaries and control and to be able to leave when I wanted to. I am going to start doing that more often. It is funny how something that simple can make such a huge difference right?


Did you all have a nice Thanksgiving? I hope so. My kids did have the whole week off so that was hard for some of them who thrive on routine. But, we made it through and now they are back in school. I know the holidays can be a hard time to so I am going to try my best to stay nonreactive and focus on myself. I will take any tips you have for doing that