I'm okay. I dissociated hardcore, practically boiled myself in the shower and then froze myself, and spent like an hour outside in the snow just kinda pretending I was telling off my doc, and felt a lot better (weighing myself and finding out I lost weight in the past 24 hours helped significantly, too. That was probably the "most helpful" in all honesty).

I ate a banana with an instant breakfast last night and I felt a lot better after, but I obviously did not have enough fruit with my yogurt this morning because I feel like crap again. Going to have an instant breakfast again in an hour and a half though, and I'm going to try to add some granola to my lunch food.
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Why the flying F*** does NOTHING ever work out??? I just called the flipping pharmacy and they're like "doesn't look like there are any med changes," and I'm like "uh, yeah, there were..." and I can't even drive there because I've gotten less than three hours of sleep over the past 3 nights and S doesn't want to take me so I asked my case manager if someone could bring them here and she didn't seem too happy so nobody is happy withh me because I can't ****ing sleep and I can't ****ing eat and I can't ****ing do anythhing ****ing right!

I have literally never cried like this before wtf is going on
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Fk the instant breakfast I'm going to drink water with apple cider vinegar and do like 100 sit ups and as many push ups as I can before I collapse