Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I see. I think I got confused because if you knew they are pretending, why would you keep offering explanations. Since they are pretending to be clueless there is no point in explaining anything to them.
I see a difference between those two situations. Based on my experience, people who pretend to not understand are looking for a fight. Those who pretend they can’t do job well, hope you’ll leave them alone and do tasks yourself. Of course i am simplifying here but that’s the pattern I observed
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Sorry it took so long to get back to this.
At the time, I suppose I didn't realize they were only pretending not to understand. Particularly with my brother, I honestly thought I just wasn't making myself clear. Now I know, that's just exactly what he wanted me to think, so I'd give up trying to express my opinion and get down off my soapbox. If I "can't" explain my position adequately, then maybe I'm full of baloney after all.
He knew perfectly well, all along, the point I was trying to make.
I do believe that pretending not to understand what I mean is a form of weaponized incompetence. It doesn't seem to me that my brother was looking for a fight so much as he was trying to get me to shut up. In either situation, whether pretending not to understand, or pretending not to be good at doing the chore, the goal is to silence the other person.