Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
So... what is your marriage like overall? This incident is one snapshot of a repeated type of argument and dynamic within your marriage. How does your husband treat you on a day to day basis? Does he bully you in other ways? Does he talk down to you and belittle you? Does he treat you like you are dumb generally speaking and as though he knows it all and you know nothing? Or does he treat you with loving kindness and respect on a daily basis?
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My husband is not an abuser. He does tend to talk over me and cut me off during arguments, but I think that’s an unawareness thing, not a bullying thing. When he is feeling better, I will try to help him see that the way HR Guy treated him is very similar to the way he does me.
If it were abuse, he would be doing it deliberately just because it hurts me. I do not believe that to be the case. The evidence is that although he learns and improves so slowly that if he looks over his shoulder he might see a sloth about to pass him up, in the end he does learn and does improve. He is also willing to take responsibility and apologize, complete with changed behavior, when he sees it. I suppose he can’t help it if it takes him a long time. Sometimes I have to enlist the aid of a professional to help him see it.
Keep in mind that he and I are both diagnosed with PTSD, and he suspects he may be on the autism spectrum.