Quote:
Originally Posted by Albatross2008
My husband is not an abuser. He does tend to talk over me and cut me off during arguments, but I think that’s an unawareness thing, not a bullying thing. When he is feeling better, I will try to help him see that the way HR Guy treated him is very similar to the way he does me.
If it were abuse, he would be doing it deliberately just because it hurts me. I do not believe that to be the case. The evidence is that although he learns and improves so slowly that if he looks over his shoulder he might see a sloth about to pass him up, in the end he does learn and does improve. He is also willing to take responsibility and apologize, complete with changed behavior, when he sees it. I suppose he can’t help it if it takes him a long time. Sometimes I have to enlist the aid of a professional to help him see it.
Keep in mind that he and I are both diagnosed with PTSD, and he suspects he may be on the autism spectrum.
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My ex husband, who was abusive, always claimed that he didn't "mean" to be disrespectful, mean, or belittling. He never meant any of it, according to him. Yet, he constantly WAS this way and treated me that way, despite how many times we talked about it.
Talking over you and cutting you off is NOT respect. Respect involves truly listening to your partner, and giving your partner the time and space to speak without interruption, while listening and truly absorbing what they are saying.
If he still exhibits this type of behavior, and you have repeatedly talked about it with him, he still is not respecting you, and he is not truly changing the behavior.
You did not mention how he treats you on a daily basis? Do you feel loved, appreciated, respected, honored, and treasured on a daily basis?
Or, does he exhibit disrespectful behaviors towards you on a daily basis?