Thanks @Samicat. I appreciate your last post.

Honestly, I am taking my life one day at a time at the moment. I cannot look beyond the current day or week right now.

I am very overwhelmed by my new job. It's been 4 months, there's STILL SO MUCH to learn, and they're not teaching me what I need to know. I am left on my own a lot of the time, OR I have to try and squeeze it all into a weekly half hour time slot that I get with my boss.

So, I am focused on trying to survive AND thrive at work, without letting them know about my DUI. I was able to work from home this week, thankfully, but next week I will have to commute without my car.

I also feel like being a social recluse. I am being very reflective given this incident and a large part of me feels like being alone in solitude. In fact, I am embracing my solitude right now.

When I get my driver's license back in January, I think I will reassess my social life. I don't want to be around alcoholics because I cannot truly relate to that crowd. I just want to be around healthier minded people doing activities that do not involve alcohol. So, next year I will likely join an outdoor activity group or two, like I've been talking about for a while now.

I kind of feel like it's the universe talking to me right now, nudging me and forcing me in a new and healthier direction. My social life at music clubs has involved some negativity and drama that I don't care for. I am reflecting upon those incidents as well. I don't think that I am necessarily the cause, but I have become ensnared accidentally within some of it. Like I stepped in it accidentally.

I just want a peaceful, happy, and healthier existence. So, yeah, I am doing a lot of reflecting and am reevaluating my life.

I cry just about every morning when I wake up. I cry because I am both grateful and contrite. Grateful that it was not worse, and contrite because I know better.

Also, I cannot sleep a normal night's sleep anymore, so that's messing me up. Last night I fell asleep at 5 pm, just after work ended. I woke up at 1:30 AM. My sleep schedule is SO off because of menopause and my changing body chemistry or hormones. It's nuts.

Thank goodness I do not have a boyfriend right now, for that reason AND because of my DUI.