I've been trying to be assertive with G about how I feel about him. I wrote him again saying that I don't feel he's engaging with me in our emails. He didn't even ask a question. Just mirroring and empathy. It's great that he seems to understand my grief, but wth do I do about it?!?! He responded interestingly... He wants me to express my anger and hatred of him to him. And for some reason, instead of just letting it all out, I was still kind and diplomatic. I'm scared of hurting him... He just comes across as delicate and kind and sensitive. I'm trying to express myself assertively, but it's hard. I wish I could just let it all out and not care. I'm still trying to protect him. From me? Idk.

I'm wearing down and lack the energy to deal with him. But I need a therapist and he's all I've got for the next 12 weeks.