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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I've been trying to be assertive with G about how I feel about him. I wrote him again saying that I don't feel he's engaging with me in our emails. He didn't even ask a question. Just mirroring and empathy. It's great that he seems to understand my grief, but wth do I do about it?!?! He responded interestingly... He wants me to express my anger and hatred of him to him. And for some reason, instead of just letting it all out, I was still kind and diplomatic. I'm scared of hurting him... He just comes across as delicate and kind and sensitive. I'm trying to express myself assertively, but it's hard. I wish I could just let it all out and not care. I'm still trying to protect him. From me? Idk.
I'm wearing down and lack the energy to deal with him. But I need a therapist and he's all I've got for the next 12 weeks.
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It's good that you're letting him know ways that he's not being helpful. In terms of expressing anger and hate toward him--that definitely seems difficult if it's not something you're usually able to do. I'm someone who struggles with that as well. Maybe it's too soon into knowing him?
I think it would be good to talk about how you feel that you want to protect him. Maybe that's something from your past, that you learned to do that? So it's become a pattern? That could be something to explore with him maybe.