Tomorrow let me bring up
-the fights between S and me
-Wanting to do PHP (but being terrified, especially after reading family therapy is required. What if you don't have family and all you have is a roommate/bandmate who won't want to do it?)
-How I need to abuse meds for more than 30 minutes of sleep, and that always backfires the next morning.
-J lied to you and never followed up "why don't you want to do PHP?" (answer: don't want to lose control of the one thing I have control over) with "What would i t look like if you did let go of this obsessive control of your body?" and I've thought about it, and it would look like freedom. But like, at first it'd be the freedom you get when you just get out of a really long IP stay where you're feeling really fragile and you don't know how to take care of yourself and everything's overwhelming and you don't know how you'll ever adjust.