can't sleep... my brain won't stop... I don't know what to do about this gyno thing!! I realize what I've been doing since my gp appt on Nov 3 when he questioned the gyno's decision - instead of thinking about it for myself and researching more, every time I start to think about it, I eat, and junk I shouldn't be eating, shoving all those feelings down, and I've gained like 9 lbs in less than a month. I haven't even been talking to L about it anymore, I've been focusing on other ways in which I'm broken, and while that work is needed too, perhaps it's not where I should have been focusing right now. Ugh. I hate this. "Good little girl" Artie says just shut up and get "the Thing" like you're supposed to do but then everything else in me is like no! we don't want it! and I shove that part down with food.

I am so broken. I should just quit therapy, let the complexes completely take over, and be a good little unconscious robot with no thoughts or opinions. So the **** what.

Where's that Bob Newhart video when I need it!