I was thinking of saying something to my brother about how he never sees us but I’m still not sure. I think I might just text him something to let him know I love him but I’m not going to communicate with him anymore. Not harsh like that but just to let him know why he’s not going to be hearing from me anymore. I’m going to emphasize that I’m always here for him and if he ever wants to talk or get together I’ll be there but I’m going to leave the ball in his court. That way I’m protecting myself from any further hurt but he doesn’t think I just abandoned him. I know him and I know he’s never say anything to me, just his wife and my SIL has a way of twisting things to be our family’s fault. She’s very nice and I love her but I know she would place all the blame on me if he ever even noticed. Which I’m not sure he would. It would just be to cover me so he couldn’t come at me with “you never try to contact me either” which is one of the main issues in my WHOLE family. Everyone thinks everyone else should be the one to reach out. That’s why my cousin refused to come to my wedding and sent me a long nasty note with his RSVP. That’s why my mom and brother are in a stalemate (among other things) and haven’t spoken in over a year.

I don’t know. I really don’t want to upset him, he’s so fragile, but I’ve lived my whole life tiptoeing around so I don’t upset other fragile people. Made me swallow my emotions for years and really contributed to my difficulties in life. And I know he does have my SIL so he at least has someone to lean on. I really don’t know.

Other than that I’ve had a good week, work has been good, I’ve coasted through all the typical behaviors of the students without being overwhelmed. Only one more day left until the weekend!