So G pointed out something interesting to me: I caretake men and women caretake me. This has been the pattern my whole life (minus my mother). And the few men who have to somewhat caretake me (a doctor or nurse or even a mechanic), I don't trust except to do what their role is. And that might be why I'm so resistant to G: because he's a man trying to caretake me. Even saying that almost disgusts me. Not like in he has ulterior motives. Just that it is so foreign to me that I don't know what to do with that.

Maybe he can be useful to learning about myself from his perspective, but I don't think learning how to accept care from a man will help me in the long run. I just don't see any possible situations where I would need to depend on a man emotionally.