I am so SICK of this SHYT.
I am doing PHP.
I don't want to deal with "don't eat this don't eat this don't eat that" "that'll make you fat" "you need to be this number to be worth living" "you don't deserve to take up as much space as you do..." etc etc. anymore. I don't want to deal with eating a weeks' worth of grocerys in 40 minutes and the nspending the next hour hunched over a toilet saying "gross gross get it out of me get it out get it tout!"

I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to deal with the passing out and the shaking and the fights and the hiding and everything.

I wanna start now. I can't start now. I wanna die.