I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now muddy. I wish there was something I could do to help. I'm also dealing with my own demons at the moment. It's different of course, but demons non-the-less. I've never dealt with an ED.

I think PHP is a good idea for you.

If I took that much Ativan I'd be hallucinating like crazy! Ativan makes me hallucinate for some reason.

I just took 150mg of hydroxyzine and 20mg of diazepam and am feeling pretty good. Yay.

I sleep like **** too. Though melatonin has helped to an extent. Have you tried melatonin? I still only sleep three to four hours but wake up feeling rested.

Anyway, 🫂 .