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You are underweight, denying yourself of nutrients and abusing benzos. Of course you’re losing time. You’re abusing your body. Anyone who was doing that would be losing time. You really need to get out of that environment. How do you feel about residential treatment. You’d be in a safe place so you could focus on getting better.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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