I completely agree that it can be important to people to have confidence and be proud. I'm having these thoughts because it wasn't always that I had confidence and was not always that proud. That time, it was important to me too, so I worked on it. But if I compare it before and now, I don't see it has any beneficial effect.

Yes, I'm going through rather much now (also academically, but mainly concerning other parts of my life) and I have no one to turn to irl so I feel I'm all alone to deal with those challenges and so they seem to be more difficult. No one is there to help me stand up when I fall. And it's not that I would isolate myself. So I've been lonely very much lately what doesn't help either.

With the hand. I'm not having any therapy, nothing. The doctors consider it healed and that it should return to normal on its own. And you know, seeing another neurologist wouldn't really help since it turned out that it is not a nerological problem.