i'm so upset this morning i don't even know how to feel. h was in las vegas last week and i insisted he get home by lastnight instead of planning on driving home late today because i wanted to make sure he was here for my appt tomorrow morning (in case of any car problems etc). well he came home yesterday, thankfully. BUT he woke up sick this morning. Damn it all I bet his has covid and now won't be able to take me tomorrow. Grrr!! **** everything. Now I'm probably going to have to do this on my own and without the diazepam since I can't drive myself home on that, obviously. I guess I could get an uber or something. But ****. I hate h right now. Why he just HAD to go to Vegas right before this appointment. **** him.

I know I could reschedule. but it would be awhile before I could get back in for it and damn it, I don't want to put this off any longer I just want it done and over with.

****.

eta: i know i am being entirely selfish and should feel bad for him that he's sick. But ****. he knows how anxious i've been about this appointment yet he went anyway. i'm so mad.