Ugh I just want 4 o clock to come here so I can say bring on the PHP and stop trying to convince myself out of it.
"You don't want to lose me." "You don't want to gain weight." "You want to eat however the fk we want you to eat." "You're not sick enough to get a higher level of treatment." "You seriously think you can recover? Think again. Without me you'd probably be back on the streets doing meth and fentanyl every day." "What control will you have without me?" "If you do this treatment, everyone's going to think nothing of you other than your eating disorder, and they're going to watch what you eat and you after you eat like a hawk." "What about those compliments you got a few weeks ago about losing weight? Didn't that feel good?" "What if this is all a plot to get you to eat more foods, so it'll be easier to poison you?" "Even if you could recover, you wouldn't deserve it. You SHOULD live with falling every day, constant dizziness, severe anxiety every time you see a number or go in the kitchen or have to go grocery shopping, shyt teeth, a fked digestive system, and everything else that goes with being my slave." -With love, That little guy controlling every thought in your head

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I don't think I'm going to do it. I looked at the schedule, and you eat 3 times in those 6 hours. "Breakfast" is at 8:45. I wake up at 11pm. No fking way am I doing that. Nope. Nope. Nope.