Last night was horrible. That's all I'm gonna say about it.


I don't know if Avoidant Personality Disorder is rare. It's just that that part of the forum here is very slow. BPD area is kinda slow as well. Why did I have to get disorders that are so slow in forums. And I was diagnosed with DID which is another slow forum. But I was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. It's kinda slow area of the forum as well. How can I have so many diagnoses????????????? I resonate big with avoidant personality, bpd, and DID. Not so much with schizoaffective disorder.


I want so much to just let go of everything and go to the forest but there are so many intense fears. Fear there might be an afterlife. Fear of loneliness. Fear of the pitch dark winter coldness sitting in a tent night after night with mountain lions and bears. But at least the Sasquatch people are incredibly nice to me. I sound crazy but they are real.

Not sure if this is part of my bpd but I still have this overwhelming out of this world intense desire to help the world. At least something didn't die in me, yet. Probably the most painful death was when I lost my spirituality cause by overthinking and anger towards this reality/world. Just feeling so dead. I remember when I used to write volumes for all of my social media About me sections. Too much passion, perhaps. And now IDGAF anymore about anything!!!!!!


Sorry for ranting