Thank you for your advice ❤️ I don’t email but I can message her directly and she does always reply fairly quickly. She messaged to reschedule and I actually told her I didn’t want to confirm just yet as I was close to quitting but felt I should think it through for a day. She suggested I come for a final session either way. I appreciated her seeming to care enough to suggest that but know I will not go for a final session if I am going to quit. I was using her cancelling to fuel my desire to quit and if I see her again it will just mess with my head.
I wish I could stop hating her but I don’t know how. I don’t want to quit and be beaten again by this thing that makes it impossible for me to be close to others but at the same time being ‘close’ to her is just too painful. So where do I go when it seems all my options are *****?
I will sleep on it but know I will probably go back as I will not find anyone like her. I just want to stop pushing her away but I don’t know how