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MuddyBoots
Monster on the Hill
 
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Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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Default Dec 05, 2023 at 07:06 PM
 
My dissociation at the mild end just feels like being really out of it. Just disconnected from everything and things feel blurry and unreal. Lately I've been really stressed and it's like one minute I'm trying to play guitar and the next I've "woke up" and found myself walking in the woods a town or two away and it's like I've been concussed or drank too much.

I don't exactly know that it's more intense than what others feel, I just know my reaction is more intense therefore I think the emotion is more intense. Like, people don't seem to be particularly as amazed as I am at certain things like seeing the moon during the day, and most people don't seem to really automatically go to "fk I gotta cut/drink/kill myself/binge&purge/etc." and start freaking out any time something minorly bad happens.

You can experience intense negative emotions and not react with a negative coping skill. It's just a lot harder with the things that come with BPD. I wouldn't worry about comparing the intensity to someone without BPD, just focus on trying to respond with positive coping skills and distress tolerance.

If you have BPD or BPD traits, I really suggest doing a DBT group or with a therapist or even just getting a workbook and going through it.

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