Unaluna made a good point. Dwelling on the past isn't productive. It's not always easy, but I try my best not to regret things from the past, since I can't change them anyways.
If I remember correctly, you're in your 20s? You still have plenty of time to get out of the rut you feel you're in, try new paths and reinvent yourself. Hopefully you can access resources that can help you figure out where to go from here.