I am so frustrated.

I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes in May and told to lose weight to try to get my numbers down. I've worked hard and lost 25 lbs. It would have been more if I hadn't been sick from changing my clozaril dose repeatedly over several months but it still seemed pretty good. And my pdoc told me my A1C had dropped from 5.9 to 5.4 so out of pre-diabetes range. She did not tell me my fasting sugar was 125, so UP from my last labs. I have another 6 months to try to get that down and if I can't I'll be diabetic. My doctor did say I've done everything right but I feel like I've failed. He said if I weren't already on metformin I probably would have been diagnosed by now and that sometimes it is just genetics. Diabetes is strong in my family even without the weight from APs. So maybe it's inevitable but I thought I could fight it off. I don't want to deal with diabetes on top of everything else.

I'm also frustrated about needing another breast biopsy. The others have all been for masses. This one is for calcifications so it's a little different and so I feel less confident. It's still probably benign but I'm just tired of having to go through this. To make it worse I already had to schedule a month out from my abnormal mammogram because our dog had knee surgery and can't be alone very long. He can be alone in his crate but the 2 times he's been alone for very long he's had accidents, probably from anxiety. He's had someone with him nearly constantly for over a month now and is no longer used to being alone. So unless my mom can get my sister to come stay with him the day of my biopsy I may have to either re-schedule or stay in the hotel a couple days (night before so I can get the shuttle and not drive after the procedure and then the night after). I usually feel pretty crummy after the biopsies. They are a minor procedure but for some reason my body isn't fond of them. It's probably adrenaline let-down. So even driving home the day after I'd be tired. It's a 2.5 hour trip so that's a consideration.

And my car has been in the shop for a week waiting for repairs from hitting the deer and I've not heard anything yet. I'll call them tomorrow for an estimate on the time but I hate borrowing my mom's car. I'm so afraid something will happen while I have it. We have to decide about getting a rental car again this week because I have to be at my sister's for 3 days helping out.

I just am overwhelmed. Too much stress from too many things. I feel like my mood is dropping but I think it's just anxiety. I've even had chest pain which my family doctor checked and said he was pretty sure it was anxiety.

I just need to catch a break. I feel like I've been trying to stabilize among chaos for a month now.