So I'm having massive anxiety and sh thoughts. Feel like I can't breathe and my chest is being ripped apart. Can't tell anyone. I told h about the anxiety, not about the thoughts or paranoia or sh. He wants to come home now but can't. I'm worried he can tell I'm not alright. I just want the ****en medicine so I can take it. Why does it have to be on backorder? I'm honestly thinking a little sh is harmless. But I know they won't trust me if I do that. I know he can't read my thoughts but I kinda don't at the same time like it's a possibility.