But it’s hard to answer honestly when I have to have such a battle about it first! I can FEEL like I am a liar so easily and like there is nothing wrong with me, no diagnosis, I am just defective and was made wrong and it’s all my fault that I exist the way I do in the world and that anything else is just me lying. I even feel like I’m lying about symptoms and I genuinely can’t gauge things because nothing seems real to me.

I’ve figured out this is why I was numb because her question really tipped be back into that frame of mind, and after a couple of days of nothing, I was just crying because and I haven’t felt like that since before I started therapy. Even when I was crying, I felt like my sadness was fake, and I only knew I was actually crying because I could feel the tears running down my face.

What I’m trying to say is it’s hard to answer questions honestly when you are so full of doubt about your own experiences, symptoms, emotions etc.
I don’t trust myself and there must be a reason for that, I must know deep down that I can’t be trusted. So how can I answer honestly when I always have this battle going on