You know what, we come on these boards and hope for some help, and hope to helps someone.

YOU GUYS saved me from an abusive marriage. This board and all of you gave me someplace to go to think, sort, get some validation, and make some healthy decisions. I also used this board as a diary to document things that were going on.

I'm not saying it lightly when I say I feel blessed and thankful that I have this place to go, and I wonder and worry about people who have no outlet and no support.


As for the separation, I'm not sure how she figures I'll pay for everything.

There are things now that are mutually exclusive, and decisions that have been made: I'm in the family home, and I have guardianship, and I've assumed responsibility for servicing our debts.

That's it. There's no "extra" money laying around.

Also, she claims I put her out and she was blindsided with the separation, which is a blatant lie. There are tons of emails and texts of her talking about divorce. She claimed she was a FT housewife with no education, which is a blatant lie. Ultimately, she made the adult, informed decision to leave. The court may say, "OK.... Be an adult and look after yourself."

The irony of this is really something else.... her and her friends talking about being powerful women who don't need a man..... But she can't manage her life and can't support herself.

Let's be clear too about the housing situation. Rent has gone crazy around here. You can't rent a good 2BR apartment for what our mortgage payments are. She is insisting I be put out of the house and it be sold immediately. Well, we can't afford to rent anyplace else.

She's gambling with this next court date. Right now she is paying support based on making a low wage, PT salary. The court could say, "You can earn 3x that much, pay up."

Then everything halts again for another year, when we revisit guardianship. The thing with that too is, she won't consent to our minor kid being interviewed by the court. So.... She thinks she can petition the court for guardianship and suppress the kid from having a say.

Among her new friends, she wasn't the alpha. She was the beta. Her new bestie is a stereotypical grandiose narcissist. She's the ringleader who has never had a job in her adult life, and in her 50s is a dating partier with no responsibilities, and who can't carry a conversation beyond anything other than pop culture. How long before she gets tired of my wife not being able to keep up? Or of her ruining the vibe?

Jeez.... This may work out. Maybe she'll lose these people, and realize she needs to be home with us. Maybe she'll finally see that she needs us and how good things were where she was. Maybe she'll come home.


Um.
No.

RDMercer