I understand your pain.

Unfortunately or fortunately future of motherhood is unpredictable. You just can’t know.

Heck future is unpredictable, period. Even the most wonderful therapist who never had kids or had family or lovers or friends or hobbies and devoted every minute of his life to his clients, never took vacation or got sick and never retired, might run into something tomorrow that will end his career abruptly in one day.

I think when L comes back or you get on With a different therapist, I’d focus on how to deal with unpredictability of life. How do you prepare to possibility of unexpected change? Could you work on that with your therapist. I understand wanting or needing something, but what do you do when you can’t have that?

Having said that I do get that it’s hard