LT,
I keep thinking about how difficult it will be to find someone not just that will be a fit, but allow me all the things L does: takes my insurance, is close enough to do in-person if wanted, emails, texts, phone calls, communication during vacations and leaves, hugs and handholding, etc. I just can't replace her even if I tried.

And so I'm feeling extremely stuck. If I want to stay with L, I have to suck it up and deal with any future maternity leave no matter how unfair it all is. And I think that's my choice. But I'm going to do it kicking and screaming and voicing my protest the whole way through. I don't have to like it. I'll still process it with T after the holidays and probably with L next week (if we have our session). I'm not happy. Angry, for sure. But people aren't replaceable... And I love L and want her to be happy. I just wish her happiness didn't come at my expense.