I don’t know if this is helpful at all, and I hope it is not invalidating in any way. As someone who was also quite attached to their therapist, I can definitely relate to the feelings of anger, anxiety, and intense disappointment about therapists going on maternity leave and the uncertainty surrounding it. Your feelings are valid and I hear you that you’re feeling really angry right now. I am not sure if this is helpful at all, but my therapist actually disclosed to me that maternity leave is crucial for new mothers so they don’t become burned out. There is actually a lot of research on duration and how that can prevent burn out and mental illness. At the time, when my T told me this, I was incredibly angry at the idea that my therapist would need to prevent burn out. However, I realized that new moms can feel burned out too - just because they care or want to be there for someone (client, new baby, etc), that doesn’t mean they can’t still feel overwhelmed and need time to readjust. I understand that you’re angry that there is so much uncertainty around whether she will have more kids or not. When my T left for leave, actually forced me to rely on the skills I learned in therapy to self regulate and practice holding the connection from afar. For me, it was a step toward growth, because while my T has assured me she’s not going anywhere, I don’t think I would be able to see her twice weekly for the rest of my life. It showed me that connection will be there no matter what, and that helped me find comfort from other things/people. None of those things will replace my therapist obviously, but it helped me find freedom in the knowing that I will be okay with or without her, even though I’d be absolutely crushed if there was ever a day we’d have to say goodbye.