If you want them, safe hugs (((ryan))). I'm so, so sorry this happened to you. It's awful that we live in such a cruel world, you've taken such a huge step just telling us here, I wish you well.

I was 5 years old too, the first time. Some days I feel as if I died right there and then, aged 5, and this shell that exists, is just that - a shell of someone who could've been, a possibility, a ghost... There are so many gaps in my memory, so many stories that don't seem have an ending, they just fade away to nothing.

You are in my thoughts, you are in my tears, I hope all goes well for you in T, when that time comes.

There are no meaningful words I can say to you and I truly wish there was. x