I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. It sure isn't easy and there's certainly no "right" way to approach it. I know this will sound extremely cold but, given the toxicity in the relationship, I'd very seriously consider just cutting ties altogether. I get it. He's your son. But you also owe it to yourself to be happy and content. I don't know. Kicking my son out of the house was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. He was living out of his car for a while and I felt terrible but I was tired of his abuse, theft and the basic misery he brought into the house. Nobody should have to live like that.

And you're right, while I do have some sort of connection with him, it's far from ideal. He'll always be my son and I'll always love him but even then there are boundaries.