It helps to have more information about your son. However, the conversation you shared that you had with him still shows you are expecting him to give you something he is just not capable of giving. This is especially true for those who have attention deficits as they have a hard enough time sorting through their own challenges. He genuinely doesn’t have the patience to fix any of your emotional problems. So telling him about your fears regarding your health is trying to emotionally blackmail him and that NEVER works with someone that has your son’s challenges. Your son has developed addiction problems because he is trying to escape his own emotional problems. It sounds like his father did the same thing and you and your children suffered from it.