I didn't know that about office gossip - that you can sue and that it's against the law, that's interesting. I agree, gossip does create a negative and hostile work environment.

That is a really difficult place to be in: having been talked about, overhearing, bringing it up, their response...no wonder you're worried about being fired. You have my sympathy over this, really.

I like all of your ideas regarding other jobs, including the possibility of sticking with paralegal, if that works for you.

I totally agree that any job can be toxic. I'll have to take your word that many places are. Though I'm beginning to think that myself. I will say I worked in a very toxic library, years ago. But I've known people who work in libraries and love it. And no two libraries are the same. I say look into it. Try out all your ideas, if you want.

I want to also rephrase what I said about other people being stupid. I have personally just found some situations with certain coworkers and group dynamics to be challenging and upsetting. I think I have some trigger points that are set to "high," unfortunately. Maybe you can relate? If not, apologies, and feel free to ignore this part. Gossiping in the work place type stuff is a type of thing that would bother me too and at the very least, put me on alert with the person doing the gossiping. In terms of problem-solving... I've got more of the focus on myself with stuff like this, because...I can't change anyone else.

You brought up people skills and while I'm sure you have people skills(!!!) it doesn't hurt to learn more. I think learning people skills, or even just examining our own behavior and part in an interaction can be helpful. Creating boundaries in our interactions and regulating our emotions around difficult interactions...maybe that's part of people skills too.

Keep us updated about your situation if you want.

I hope you get the grant for your kitten.