You know, I have maybe a bit of an unpopular opinion here -- but self-medicating (abusing meds/alcohol etc) can be just a sign that you're not adequately medicated and/or not enough skills in your toolbox to cope. I personally think there should be no shame in realizing you're in a position where you're not OK. Self-medicating/abusing meds is not the best answer-- but its understandable if that's the underlying issue. I may be off in your case, but I thought I'd share that thought.