I want to go off the deep end manic and be an end with it

I'm sick of hearing everyone deals with the same **** yet lectures me for listening to specific journalists and not wanting to plant flowers in the middle of a lifelong, increasingly intensifying hurricane.

I don't give a **** anymore. Like wtf are we doing.. If we're just soulless like that.

I don't want hugs or cuddles until my memory and ego is completely erased again, and I'm dead. I'll be in heaven soon.

Although it's not that easy is it.