At least for me, sex in a dream never has anything to do with the act of sex, but the meanings behind sex. Like you listed: loved, safe, protected. Also like I listed: nurturing and intimate. It could be things we want or things we already feel or both! Like maybe you feel some feelings about your T AND you are craving them in your life as well? And maybe your fantasies are similar to your dreams. L is big on knowing my fantasies. I do not want to live out all of them. Like I fantasize about stabbing H in the heart when he hurts me, but I would never want that or do that. I have a lot of fantasies about L, but hat doesn't mean that I want those things.

I've been thinking about the penis part of your dream, and I'm just going to throw it out there. If I'm off course, I apologize. Could that part of your dream have to do with your T? Maybe she's an authority figure to you? Or maybe that part of the dream symbolized how she can't be maternal or nurturing to you? Or maybe more directly, maybe she's more masculine to you in some way?