I felt really good for Halloween. I had little candle-lit pumpkins and autumn decorations all over the place. My place looked nice. Patio was decorated. I was into the season and loving the fall weather.

Second week of November my happy mood collapsed. It's been collapsed all the way to now. I'm never like this a week before Christmas. I feel like I can't cope with anything. I was alone for the last 3 Christmases, and I managed okay, but this year I feel so much worse.