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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I have my session with L in two days, and I don't even know what to talk to her about. I just feel so much anger towards her. She knows because I told her in my weekly email Sunday night. I just feel like I have nothing to say to her and that there's nothing she can say to me that would help. I'm in this situation because of her, and now I'm alone without any support. Sure, T will be there in an emergency and our one time session next month. But as far as weekly support, there's no one.
What reassurances could I ask for? That I would believe? I can't think of anything that would be believable and comforting. There's just nothing I can think of that I want out of the session.
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Hi Scarlet. I'm not sure how to answer this, the question about reassurances, in part because I struggle with believing reassurances as well.
I guess the question is what you feel you want out of the session. Could it help to just work on connection? I know you've done things before like play a game or ask each other questions. (I would say you could ask more about the baby, but maybe that would make you feel more distanced?)
I saw you posted something in Dear T about not wanting to do a safety plan (hope it's OK to mention that here!) Is it L that wants to do that with you? Or T, when you meet with her? If it's L, I definitely understand your not wanting to spend the session on that (well, with T, too).
Or do you think it might help to get your anger toward her out? The risk with that is, then you might feel more disconnected in the end.
Sorry, I know this probably isn't that helpful! Just trying to give you some things to think about. Consider how you might feel after the session--would you rather feel you've said what you needed to get out? That you tried to reconnect? Something else? There's no right answer--just stuff to think about.