Actually, I don't think this is all that unusual - or some variation along this concept. Or the having physical pain to distract from the intensity of the emotional pain. Also, the part of having the 2 heal together or somehow watching the physical heal does something with the emotional - heal? I'm not sure but it is something.

For me, there are a wide variety of reasons for my behavior and sometimes I can use the "doesn't change anything" reason to not do the behavior. Some are similar to what you posted.

Other times, I find myself doing before being really aware. It's really all over the map for me.

In the manipulation side of things, I even have a ... "you can't stop me" attitude at times. When things were at a more stable place, I let Dr. S know that there was this part.

Regardless of the why we do, what we do - I think what we get out of it is a slightly different question than why we do it. Like does it leave you feeling alive or able to concentrate? Do you feel powerful or in control? Do you feel relief from being punished?

I think that also varies some depending on the why and the type of SH you are doing - if you use multiple forms of self harm.