I have never experienced an absence this long, but I assume I will at some point, T might need a new hip. I don't agree with some people here saying find a T that's old enough not to have kids or whatever, simply because an absence like this can happen to anyone. The younger the T, the more likely it's kids or an accident, the older, the more likely it will be either some planned surgery or some illness. Tbh that sounds worse than maternity leave in some ways.

Ever since becoming even just slightly attached to my T, I've feared him going on leave for a while, or forever. We have done a few things (as far as I can tell you and L have too) so that I have reminders of him, even if he were to suddenly be gone.

Unfortunately, at some point T is going to be gone for good. Maybe he's still going to be alive and kicking, but nobody stays young forever. I know I will probably outlive him and so at some point will have to go through a final good bye. Whenever he is for example sick or on vacation, I try to think of it as practice for that. It's like little doses of abandonment, but I can practice to keep him in my mind and feelings, even if he's not here. And somehow this has actually gotten me to the point where although I know I will be sad when he's gone, I'm going to be okay, thanks to his help.

What I'm trying to say is, it's okay to be angry, sad, frustrated and so on. But I don't think getting rid of L is going to necessarily be the solution. I think talking to a T while she's gone would be good for you, and then when she's back work through all of it. Because she's going to come back, meaning you can practice for situations where that for some reason will not be the case.