Hey thanks you guys for your responses to my thread about my ex-boyfriend from high school reaching out to me on Facebook out of the blue.

I took "polls" from my male rideshare passengers today and they all agreed that his behavior was atypical for a man (married or not) to reach out to an ex-highschool girlfriend so randomly, 35 years after they dated.

The ex had 35 years to apologize to me and initiate the offer of real friendship. He chose to get married and have children instead. So, I was never his priority; always just an option. Once someone makes you an option, your emotional and physical needs will never be their priority. This dufus reached out to me 35 years after-the-fact for god knows what reason. I don't know and I don't care.

@Tart Cherry Jam thank you for your different perspective. I don't need him to apologize to me now, 35 years later. I gave myself closure after he dumped then slandered me in high school. The fact that he wouldn't write a message with his Facebook friend request is so characteristic of his personality and the way he views me as just an option three and a half decades later. He doesn't deserve the time of day from me, in any time zone.

@divine1966 I'm with you on the 'life is too short' attitude. Like you, I used to give people the benefit of the doubt when I was younger (and codependent). Now, I don't give people a second chance. Definitely not going to waste time on this dufus. What IS it with high school boyfriends? Exactly!

Sounds like you had one of your own experience like mine, when yours drunk dialed you out of the blue. Your former classmate reaching out to you to ask for loads of money is also a boundary invasion and wow, the nerve of that guy. And you are correct, married men don't sit around waxing nostalgic about their high school ex girlfriends unless they want something (akin to an emotional/physical affair/online distraction from their own miserable life).

@WovenGalaxy thank you!! He was and clearly still IS a tool. One I have now blocked on Facebook so that he can't randomly contact me again. I didn't let on to our mutual high school friend who I'm Facebook friends with that he reached out to me.

Why should I share that private information with her? You know? She did tell me that they have little gatherings here and there (main group from our class) and yet I'm never invited by her or the others to join them. Pfft. Fine by me! I don't want to get stuck in the past meetingup with old high school aquaintances because my emotional health can't take it. Those women were such bullies to me. Thank you for your encouragement. Yes, I do deserve respect.

Which brings me to a happy accident. Last summer, a very cute neighbor moved into the condo building next door to me. He was sitting on the front stoop waiting for his friend and saw me feeding the birds on my apt balcony so we chatted.

Yesterday, he remembered my name when he saw me. I was unloading my car with groceries. He asked if he could help me so I let him. We chatted while we stood outside my apt door and I boldly asked him to coffee. He said he had a girlfriend but took my cellphone number anyway, b/c he said that he would like to be friends with me.

That my friends, is a classy guy who respects me. Sure he's taken. But he's the complete opposite of the high school ex dufus. I'm glad the universe timed it like that for me - showing me that there are definitely better men than my ex high school boyfriend in the world who will respect me.

I'm also older than my neighbor (i.e. I'm a cougar, rawr). It was nice to be treated with respect buy a cute guy, nonetheless. A nice end-cap to that crappy experience with the ex-high school boyfriend contacting me on Facebook.