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CANDC · Dec 26, 2023 at 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laval4mp

i really want to change the concert plans because i hate the idea of being anywhere NEAR my boyfriend but i feel so obligated because i bought tickets for this concert for him and i dont want to betray him by not taking him

im seeing a psychologist in January for many reasons so if needed i can talk to her about this experience but im scared to open up to anyone about this because i feel like my experience is invalid because someone so close to me did it if that makes sense? my best friend does know and is trying to support me through this but its still really hard. thank you for replying i really appreciate it

@laval4mp you said "I feel like my experience is invalid because someone so close to me did it if that makes sense? "
Please know that your experience is not only valid, but is very common. I have read that most assaults are done by a person that one has a relationship with or a relative.

The other thing I have read is that survivors of abuse often blame themselves as if they did something to deserve it. That is victim blaming. You are not to blame it is not your fault. Take that up with the therapist.

I would not tell more people who are not professionals about it because most people do not understand trauma. They might not react in an appropriate way.

However, the one person I would tell is the Therapist. They will be able to help you more if you reveal the trauma. If they do not know how to work with trauma, it may be time to seek out a therapist that does.

What about telling your BF how about I give you both tickets and you take someone else hopefully a male friend? But that could be disturbing if he ends up bringing another woman. Maybe this is better discussed with the therapist and see what they say.

@CANDC