@ ArmorPlate108, Don't worry, I definitely don't "worry" about posting on here but it still feels like my "safe" place to share how I am feeling. As an aside, I do want to thank you again for all your help. As 2023 comes to a close, it certainly was a year full of trials for me personally and I can definitely tell you that you helped me so much in my most dark times and I hope you know how much I appreciate that!

I feel like I have entered into a new process where I am teaching my husband how to communicate. It feels almost like sleep training a toddler. As I think I have discussed with you before, every time he communicates with me about something that has upset him, he goes directly into name calling, a disdainful tone and personal insults. My new response has been to tell him every time that even though he can act however he wants, if he wants to have a conversation with me, my boundary is that it needs to be respectful and that it is sad he cannot express feelings or things he doesn't like without being insulting. Then, I just have to reinforce that every time. But he really is incapable of this. From talking to friends, I know he isn't the only man like this but it is really crazy. Tonight, he went into the garage with his keys in his hands during bedtime for our children and I asked him if he was going somewhere. That turned into a conversation where he told me I can't have an expectation to know what he is doing every minute of every day and he doesn't need my permission to do anything. It is so crazy it is almost funny. And I know a lot of this is directly related to an increase in time with his family and all of its faults. But anyway, that is my new plan. We'll see if it works. I suspect sleep training a toddler is probably much easier.


It is very nice to hear that you and your family manage to do the holidays well notwithstanding the Grinch living with you. It is a very hopeful and happy thing to be able to make things your own and not be dependent on other for your own happiness. I am hopefully getting there too. I also like the thought that all marriages end one way or another. That is comforting to me somehow. Anyways, I will keep this short and wish you a happy new year! Are you into making new years resolutions? I am not into it but I am into reflecting on the past year and I do know that even though it was tough I am so much stronger coming through all of this and I am glad for that shift from despair to strength.