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Do you have a therapist for just you. You can’t change him or get him to change. He needs to do that himself. You need to take care of you and decide for yourself what you are willing to accept or not accept in a relationship. Plus if he is actively using you probably don’t want him around the kids.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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