Mr fun guy is also mr sex guy. We had sex. Now we're hanging out on NYE as well and will have sex again. That's fine. I've wanted a hook up for a few months now.

I am also feeling like perhaps I will never want a relationship again. My marriage was SO toxic, I don't know if I can truly recover from it. And I don't know if I ever want to let someone in again at that level. I may want to live alone for the rest of my life.

I've also made so many poor choices in men I don't know if I trust my judgement or attractions at this stage. This guy is no boy scout. And, of course, I am the one who picked him out of a crowd.

I have a broken picker, as my friend calls it.