It’s tough when our adult kids flounder and lose motivation. Really tough. I’m so sorry Christmas went the way it did for you. There can be so much loaded onto having a nice day but of course it’s just a day and situations are still as they were.

You’re not asking for advice so I’m not giving it, but I think your idea to give yourself a rest from advising him sounds sensible, you’ve given him your thoughts, it’s his choice what he does with it. Our kids individuate and that isn’t always the smooth transition we hope it’ll be. Hugs to you all.